“That isn’t any technique to treat the Secret Service — that’s the way you treat a contestant within the dressing room of the Miss Universe pageant.” — CHELSEA HANDLER, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”
“Trump fighting to take control of the president’s automotive prefer it’s an motion movie, only he’s the president and that is real life.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I mean you’ve got to confess, though, fighting your personal Secret Service agent is genius on Trump’s part — he’s hitting the one one that can’t hit back. Yeah, they’ll punch back but then they’ve got to leap in front of their very own punch.” — TREVOR NOAH
“When grabbing the steering wheel didn’t work, he grabbed the automotive by the [expletive].” — CHELSEA HANDLER
“Immediately the agents were like, ‘Who the hell let him out of his automotive seat?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“That’s insane, but it surely goes to make an amazing season premiere of ‘Kleptocrats in Cars Seizing Power.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“To not victim blame, but that is on the Secret Service, all right? You had 4 years to Trump-proof that vehicle — you knew who you were coping with. There must have been a toy steering wheel within the passenger seat the entire time. Just let him think he’s driving and return to the West Wing anyway.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Folks, speaking of Jan. 6 plotters, this weekend Rudy Giuliani was assaulted by a food market employee on Staten Island. Before I’m going any further, before I say the rest, let me say that Rudy Giuliani is fantastic, aside from the proven fact that he stays Rudy Giuliani.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And more importantly, ‘The Late Show’ and ‘The Late Show’ family of producers condemns violence of any kind. It’s best to not exit and lay a finger on the previous mayor in any way. First, since it is just mistaken, and, second, since you don’t need to get any of that weird Rudy juice on you.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Something tells me this isn’t the primary time Rudy has exaggerated the dimensions of something.” — CHELSEA HANDLER
