For some automotive owners, not having a reputation for his or her sweet ride may drive them crazy.
For so long as their engines have run, automobiles have been a logo of freedom and possibility. The empty seat and the open road are pillars of American longing, eulogized best and sometimes by the patron saint of chrome and Libra loneliness: Bruce Springsteen.
“The Boss,” American Autophiles and nostalgic gear heads alike can rejoice, our love of wheels and metal can be anointed on October 2 with the arrival of National Name Your Automotive Day.
In line with National Today, the vacation, “pays homage to those of us who love our rides a lot — we name them.”
I’ve had many a make out and a breakdown, miles and memories in cars with names and models as varied as a rusted out diesel Mercedes called Raspberry Beret, a Volvo SUV called Coco Caine, a GMC Sonoma who goes by Goldie Hawn and a 1990 Doge conversion van named Aunt Flo.
In honor of this hallowed day of naming, we’re matching each zodiac sign to the make and model that best represents them. Be it used or latest, electric or hybrid, there’s a ride for every sign. Read on and rev up, babies.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Built for speed but secure enough to face up to rough rides, the Honda Civic has much in common with the cardinal sign of Aries. NurPhoto via Getty Images
Adventure loving, thrill chasing, accident prone Aries will find much to like within the responsive and inexpensive Honda Civic recently voted “more fun to drive than a sports automotive.” This cardinal fire sign is the kind to color their bedroom wall the colour of a blood clot so the candy red of teenage dreams is an obvious alternative for each exterior paint and interior upholstery.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
The Toyota Highlander, like the typical Taurus, equally prioritizes comfort and aesthetics.Getty Images
The 2023 Toyota Highlander is described by Automotive and Driver as “practical, comfortable, and trendy” which isn’t only how Taurus folk view themselves but is the usual by which they judge yoga pants, throwing stars, recliner chairs, air fyrers and sex swings.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Vipers, like Geminis are built for speed and shaky on the subject of taking direction. Getty Images
Geminis think and speak at a lightning clip making a sports automotive the fitting automotive for the people of the silver tongue and lead foot. Indecisive and simply distracted, Gemini can relate to the Viper whose critics say falters when subjected to constant stopping and starting. Similarly, Geminis often struggle to focus their minds and quiet their mouths and the Viper is understood for terminal brake problems and a sophisticated steering system.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer rules the fourth house, making the 4runner an apt ride for the crab contingent. MediaNews Group via Getty Images
Cancer is ruled by the moon and represents the archetype of the mother. Thus a “cool mom” automotive with off-road capability, moon roof options, and a popularity for being each durable and adroit at safely ferrying a six pack or more of kids, suits the bill for fashion and performance. Further, Cancer governs the fourth house of home and ancestry, making the 4Runner a numerical, and natural fit.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Cadillacs are the popular mode of transport for American royalty.Getty Images
Cadillac made its debut on August 22, making the corporate itself a regal, high shine, mane shaking Leo, and folk, it shows. Named for the Frenchman that founded Detroit, Cadillac is synonymous with high end luxury and has been the transport of alternative for a lot of a member of American royalty including Elvis “The King” Presley, who famously gifted caddies to friends and strangers, and Hank “King of Country Music” Williams who breathed his last within the back seat of his baby blue Cadillac.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Ford’s F-Series pickups are the top-selling vehicles within the US.AP
Virgo is essentially the most common zodiac sign and Ford’s F-Series are the highest selling vehicles within the US. Further, Virgo rules the sixth house of service and if that house were a vehicle it will undoubtedly be the pick up truck. Virgos and trucks; here to assist, built for work, pleased to maneuver your mattress, and game for an al fresco slumber party under a sky with minimal light pollution.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
FIAT and Libras are each devotees of “la dolce vita.” NurPhoto via Getty Images
Italian automobile manufacturer FIAT goals to deliver “la dolce vita” on 4 wheels. Libra is ruled by Venus, planet of beauty and decadence and natives will resonate with the company ethos of, “The FIAT® Brand inspires all its drivers to live to the fullest and bask in all of the sweetness and sweetness this life has to supply.” Bonus, Fiat scion and sharp dressed debauchee Lapo Elkann, who once faked his own kidnapping to repay a drug debt and appears absolutely aces in a vintage suit, is, after all, a Libra.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Rolls Royce Phantom
The Rolls Royce Phantom suits a Scorpio just fantastic.NurPhoto via Getty Images
The official description of the Phantom Series in accordance with Rolls Royce legitimately reads like a Scorpio placing a private ad, “An untameable legend. An icon for icons. Phantom Series II exists alone on the apex of luxury. Its unprecedented design is an evolution in mastery — invigorating the mavericks who command its splendor.” Get a room for pete’s sake ensure to towel off the splendor when your’e finished .
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Each the Bronco and the sign of Sagittarius are inspired by equine energy. The Enthusiast Network via Getty
The sign of Sagittarius is symbolized by the centaur, a half horse, half man figure from Greek mythology. The Ford Bronco is called in honor of the half tame horses of the American West. Same same but different. Archers are free wheelers and ceaseless seekers and since its release in 1966, the unique Bronco has turn into “an icon of an adventurous lifestyle and off-road capability.” Can dig. Aesthetically speaking, the brand new model is trash but we raise a glass and a spur to the OG design.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn is a Cardinal earth sign and the Toyota Tacoma is built for off roading and earth traversing. Bloomberg via Getty Images
First released during Capricorn season in 1995 the tagline of the most recent generation of Toyota Tacomas is “Unmatched. Unequaled. Unstoppable.” Which, coincidentally, is the mantra that each one Capricorns repeat while tying their shoes, masturbating, lifting weights or negotiating a raise.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
BMW iX5 Hydrogen
As an air sign symbolized by a water bearer, Aquarius can get downn with the BMW iX5 Hydrogen. DeFodi Images via Getty Images
Represented by the mythical water bearer, Aquarius is progressive by design because it the brand new BMW iX5 Hydrogen which utilizes hydrogen fuel cell technology and bills itself as a beacon of sustainable mobility. Aquarius is ruled by standard upholding Saturn and utterly upheaving Uranus, similarly, the iX5 “combines the very best of each drive worlds: the locally emission-free mobility of an electrical vehicle and the unrestricted suitability for on a regular basis use.” The establishment and the promise of progress, all together under one hood.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Like Pisces itself, the enduring DeLorean is dreamy AF and utterly impractical.ZUMAPRESS.com
Pisces is synonymous with escapism, dreams and the collective unconscious making the DeLorean, a whip made famous because the time machine within the “Back to the Future” franchise, a fantastic fit. Flux capicitor not withstanding, the OG DeLorean was known for its gull-wing doors and under powered engine, apt for an indication that soars high on the feathers of imagination but falters on the subject of forward momentum. In its latest in(automotive)nation, the DeLorean has been reimagined as a sleek, environmentally friendly electric model. The corporate poetically claims, “The Future was never promised. Reimagine today,” which coincidentally, reads just like the motivational note a Pisces tapes to their bathroom mirror within the wake of a break up.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the celebs
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, popular culture and private experience. She can also be an achieved author who has profiled a wide range of artists and performers, in addition to extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Amongst the numerous intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.